Birthday Bash Bust

Cindy seen in photo with all of the close friends and relatives who took the time out of their lives to help celebrate my 60^th birthday with me in Florida. While it literally rained on my parade I was forced to some major introspection about relationships throughout the months long planning process for this event. Many people never responded at all, a trend of casuality that is plaguing our society, depriving us of civility in general. In the end many non-attendees offered explanations for their inability to be there that frankly if the exact situation were reversed, I would not have offered in excuse, and have been there without fail. That led to the introspection about the basis of my value system with friends and relatives versus theirs.

Shortly after this non-event I received an email from Beth Buelow, a lifestyle coach, which contained a rather pertinent message. This was “ Being attached to certain outcomes is different from wanting to achieve a goal. Being attached means that we want nothing less, more or different than our desired outcome. We perceive anything else as failure.Being open to outcomes, however, means that we have a goal in mind while being open to the unpredictability of the journey and how we get there. We are more in line with our intention (how we want to feel) than the finished product”. Wonderfully wise words but difficult to hold onto when you feel hurt by the actions virtually everyone that you felt important in your life, so perhaps I needed to change what I offer in relationships to be more on a par with others abilities to relate.

Particularly disappointing was that I had planned this portion of our trip with the hopeful intention of sharing some childhood experiences of the Beachcomber with my sister Sue, who was one of the no-shows after indicating she would be there, and thus central to the planning at this location.

At the same time I was also finishing reading the book “The Match” about an historic golf match with Ken Venturi, Ben Hogan, Byron Nelson, and Harvie Ward at Cypress Point, the author proclaimed underlying theme of which is “Friendship, loyalty, the real meaning of pride, and the high price paid for idealism and integrity in the real world.” Toward the end the author is talking about the ends of some of these lives and writes the following: “No four men will ever play such a match again, for the love of the thing itself. The genuine way they lived their lives makes most of today’s fast and frenzied sports and entertainment culture seem like so much packaged goods, a self-conscious, inauthentic hustle. In their best and worst hours alike each one of these four stood his ground, put all he had on the line, and for better or worse lived with the consequences of his actions and moved on. Some green, untested souls might be tempted to wonder why one should still care, but none of us are here forever, we’re not even here for long; and if it’s true that our collective past exists inside all of us, unless we take time to bear witness to the best of those who strived before us, our chance to learn from their lives will be lost forever, and we will be the poorer for it.”

It’s no wonder that I have always loved the game of golf as it rewards a certain purity of heart, and the courses on which it is played predictable in their design’s intent; infinitely more understandable that the idiosyncratic behavior of humans. I guess I just wish my friends and relatives would feel more like I do about them as far as their importance in my life journey. For now I will move on to one of our favorite places in the world and leave further reflection for another time

On the train again, I can't wait to get on the train again

We decided to use another form of transportation to get to the southern reaches of Florida this year and really enjoyed our overnight on Amtrak from Raleigh to Ft. Lauderdale, even though they decided to shortcheck our luggage to Tampa. Most of the photos are a bit blurry due to the constant vibration, but I think in the case of Rab and Charles a bit of fear was evident as this was their first such excursion. Waiting for the train in Raleigh we had an outstanding meal at "Pits" barbeque and another terrific spot Jibarra mexican that we hope to hit on the flipside return.

Jay of course gallantly climbed into the upper bunk.

North Carolina grits

We shared a wonderful two days with Michigan friends Dean and Laura Johnson in Southport, North Carolina. The highlight of the trip had to be the caramel, cashew, chocolate pieces vanilla ice cream we shared on Jay's birthday. But we also took a round trip ferry ride from the new terminal in town to Bald Head Island.

Cindy's 60th Birthday Celebration winter trip

We have initiated stage one of the B Vacation Celebration Invitation Itineraries, and Rab and Charles were positioned in the car with sunglasses at the ready position.

On our way to the March 11th birthday celebration at the Beachcomber resort in Pompano Beach, which will be followed by a Bahama Beach bash on March 15th in the Abacos, we stopped first in Indianapolis to visit friends Kitty (bathrobe bathing beauty after a night of Canary Tweeting) and Bob Parrin, Ann and Gary Mills

(that's Jay waving hi and bye to an out of action due to illness Gary's place of employment as we leave town), and Jim and Robbie Cooper.

On the way through Lexington we stopped at one of our favorite restaurants just to get a loaf of their world famous cornbread, wth a side of black bean/cubed roast beef chili with sour cream and chives. Heaven!

That evening found us in Johnson City, Tennessee at the home of Marilyn Wolcott where she surprised us with her homemade cornbread and chilli. What are the odds of that,

and the next day on our way to rendezvousing with Dean and Laura Johnson we pulled over at a rest stop and enjoyed the remaining DeSha chili and a combination of cornbreads. If anyone is counting that's three straight meals of the exact same gas inducing food. It's certainly a new record of repetition for us.

After once last long look at the Atlantic we headed home to Michigan via golf with friend Marilyn Wolcott in Johnson City, TN and Bazbeau pizza with the Parrins and a short stay with the Savianos in Indy. Our first look at home waters occurred in New Buffalo, MI as we stopped for a burger at our favorite place for that fare, Redamak's. The view of Lake Michigan was a welcome sight after our travels and we again appreciated what a beautiful area of the world we live in. Along the way we had varying tastes to the drinking/bathing water and none was so sweet as that from our well Up North. The marshlands of the south all gave a slight smell and taste of sulfur, while a few place in South Carolina and Georgia were almost undrinkable due to an earthy onion taste and smell. As Dorothy said "There's no place like home".

An ending to Remember with new beginnings

As we wind down our odyssey we returned to Southport NC in the same weather we left it - 30 degrees. But within a day it was back into the high 60s and we ended our journey as it began, with project days of work on the Balia, painting the trailer and cleaning and waxing the boat. As always we enjoyed a terrific stay with creative Gary and Ann with one highlight being evening cocktail hour on one of the public docks where we set up another version of camp and came up with ideas for a new restaurant. Even though we were out of town for the Masters, we did a new version of the annual Mini-Masters at the Oak Island golf club with Ann and Gary slicing balls around alligators and turtles amidst the blooming Azaleas. Today we head back to Michigan with stops again in Tennessee and Indianapolis.

A Dream Come True

On our return to North Carolina from Florida we stopped in Augusta and were able to secure at some fairly great expense two tickets to the Monday practice round of the Masters Golf Tournament. The beauty of Augusta National did not disappoint and we were amazed at the elevation changes to which television cannot do justice. While not many players were out due to the wind and cold we luckily were able to hook up with Chicago Golf acquaintance Ben Crenshaw for a few minutes. While we have put on a Mini-Masters Golf Party every year for the past 15 years or so, it has always been a dream to get to actually see this historic course. Cross that one off the Bucket List!!